By S. Dawn Denby
It has been said that men and women are so different that they may as well be from different planets.
This major difference between the sexes makes communication between the two very complicated. It is almost impossible for men and women to interpret each other’s silent signals. It is no wonder then that women say they, “just don’t understand men,” and vice versa.
There is no better example of this then after a first date. The man will tell the woman that he “had a great time” and that he would like “to call her”. Of course the woman only hears “I will call you”. She assumes that he will call her as soon as he gets home. If not that same night, then definitely the next day. When her “potential new found love” doesn’t call that night, the next day, or rest of the week, she starts to fret big time!
She immediately blames herself. Did she come across as too self-absorbed? Is she not pretty enough or perhaps she needs to lose ten pounds. What he failed to tell her, however, is that he wouldn’t be calling her until the following week because of his out of town business trip.
He has unduly caused her pain and suffering and he doesn’t even know it. And all because men use several thousand words less each day than women do. This lack of communication from men, especially at the beginning of a relationship, makes it almost impossible for the two sexes to understand each other’s verbal and non-verbal cues.
When he doesn’t call, he gives her the false impression that “he’s just not that into her”. This may not be true at all! In reality, he really liked her a lot and was very anxious to see her again. He may have just failed to tell her he plays poker once a week with the guys and, on Saturday mornings, he plays basketball. He may also have failed to mention that his mother is in the hospital having surgery.
So, the next time you meet a great guy who promises to call, take the ball back into your own court. Tell him how very busy you are and, ‘if it’s okay, you would like to give him a call in a few days?” Of course he will say, “yes”.
Since you have already told him how busy you are, and even if you really like him, do not call him for four days. Four days will tell him, “you might not be that into him”. When he does finally hear your voice on the other end of the phone, it will sound like heaven to him. You’d better make sure you were busy during those four days when you weren’t calling him. Because, for once in his life, he will want to know all the details.
Eventually, if the chemistry is right, you will learn how to better communicate with each other. You will learn the right questions to ask each other and then begin to learn the other’s non-verbal cues as well.
So, the next time you think that “he’s just not that into you”, think again! Most likely, you are absolutely wrong. He is actually very much into you but just can’t figure out how to “say it”!
For more advice and information on dating and relationships, please check out our website at http://thelovefish.com.
About the Author: Dawn resides in Charlotte, NC. Having been recently laid off from the corporate world, she decided to build her own website,
thelovefish.com
, and write an e-book about her online dating experiences. Having gotten married the first time at 45, Dawn has many stories and some good advice to share.
Source:
isnare.com
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